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Family Constellations was originated in the 1980s
by Bert Hellinger, a German psychologist who spent
many years with the Zulus in South Africa and later
worked with Art Janov and Virginia Satir, integrating
systems theory, psychotherapy, family therapy, phenomenology,
philosophy and spirituality. The Family Constellation
process and offshoots of this work, including organizational
and environmental constellations, has spread around
the world over the last two decades and is active
in Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia and North and South
America.
This work is based on the profound
observation that our well-being or lack of well-being
is connected with our family system which includes
the living and the generations before us, our ancestors.
This is very much in keeping with aboriginal wisdom
where honouring our ancestors is an essential part
of receiving strength and moving forward in life.
This connection is present whether we are conscious
of it or, usually, not. Through healing the ancestral
soul, we heal our souls. While we typically view our
problems as self-generated or blame others, often
our difficulties arise out of being unconsciously
entangled with unresolved issues from previous generations.
This is not new. Aboriginal wisdom says that what
we do now affects the next seven generations; and
the Bible says the sins of the father are visited
upon the sons.
Bert Hellinger enumerated three Orders
of Love. The first is that everyone in the family
has a right to belong. If someone is forgotten, rejected,
ignored then the flow of love is blocked between the
generations and a descendant will identify unconsciously
with the excluded ancestor and bear that burden. For
example a suicidal person may be unconsciously acting
out both a murderer and the victim, an event that
occurred two, three, four or more generations previously.
Other hidden issues include abortions, miscarriages,
infidelity, early death of a parent or child which
may exhibit as chronic or sudden illness, depression,
feeling isolated, mental illness, persistent relationship
problems, or being accident prone. The second order
is that there is a natural order: parents come before
children, the first child comes before the second,
etc., the first spouse comes before the second. Examples
of entanglements here are the child becoming the parent
of the mother or father; a child being recruited as
a spouse, emotionally or even sexually; a second spouse
not honouring the first one. The third order is that
there needs to be balance of give and take in a relationship.
The constellation process allows
us to go back in time and clear or resolve those entanglements
to the Orders of Love to allow love to flow freely
again. By bringing to consciousness that which has
been hidden and by honouring the fate of the excluded
family member, we reconnect with our own life path
and fulfill our own purpose and destiny.
Describing the constellation process
is a bit like describing the taste of a food to someone
who has never tasted it. It is through the experience
of tasting the fruit that we know. In the workshop
setting one person who I will call the ‘seeker’, brings
up an issue that they want to look at. The facilitator
will ask some questions to find out what has happened
in the family. He or she will not be interested in
the seeker’s story. This is because we are often trapped
in our story and the constellation process allows
us to gain a new perception. The facilitator will
then ask the seeker to choose people in the group
to represent different members of the family who are
then placed in the circle. The process depends on
a key observation of Bert’s: that a person representing
another person feels the emotions and body sensations
of the person they are representing. Nobody knows
how this happens; it remains a mystery though there
are many comparisons with quantum physics, the Akashic
records and the work of Rupert Sheldrake (www.sheldrake.org).
This constellation representation reveals the dynamics
of the situation and may show where other members
of the family, dead or alive, need to be introduced.
The facilitator can then suggest subtle interventions
to allow love to flow again. It is a constant observation
of mine, that beneath all the anger, disappointments,
abuse that people have experienced there is a deep
love that flows down from ancestor to descendant.
While the constellation supports the healing of the
seeker and the seeker’s family, being a representative
is a profound way of walking in another person’s shoes
and of learning compassion. Each individual constellation
takes anywhere from about fifteen minutes to an hour
or so.
The constellation process is not
limited to family issues and can be used to deal with
organizational (business and other groups) and environmental
issues. Environmental constellations complement the
work of Joanna Macy (www.joannamacy.net) who promotes
a whole body of work reconnecting us with the natural
world. Again, being a representative in an environmental
constellation provides a deeper experiential knowing
of the interconnections in nature.
For more information about this work, check out the
websites of:
Bert
Hellinger - the originator of Family and Systemic
Constellatons
Jane
Peterson - founder of the Human Systems Institute
Francesca
Boring - Francesca introduces an Aboriginal perspective
to this work
Mark
Wolynn - Mark is the Director of the Hellinger
Institute of Western Pennsylvania and is a superb
teacher of the dynamics in family systems |
